Crypto Rollercoaster: This Week’s Must-Watch Events

Monday Mood: Korean Won Stablecoins & Network Upgrades

The BOK meets commercial banks today to discuss won-pegged stablecoins - though frankly, their “proceed with caution” approach makes my risk-averse Asian grandmother look like a degen trader. Meanwhile, Binance pauses ZIL transactions for its upgrade. Pro tip: set calendar alerts unless you enjoy failed transaction rage.

Powell Palpitations on Tuesday

Fed Chair testifies before Congress at 10PM EST - aka “when Asian traders lose sleep” o’clock. With CPI still sticky, his tone could make or break this rally. My prediction? He’ll say just enough to sound hawkish without crashing markets (but pack your Xanax).

Binance Alpha launches DeLorean (DMC) with 50x leverage because apparently we’ve learned nothing from 2022. If you’re trading this, may I suggest a flux capacitor as risk management?

Midweek Madness

Wednesday brings Humanity Protocol (H) listings plus exclusive airdrops for Alpha users - basically crypto’s version of airline miles but with more rugpull potential. Thursday features Sahara AI (whatever that is) and Coinbase delisting old token versions like they’re cleaning out expired spices.

That ApeCoin DAO dissolution vote? At 99% approval despite requiring only 66%. Either this is the most unified community ever or… actually no, that can’t be right in crypto.

Weekend Drama: Thailand Cracks Down

Starting Saturday, Thailand blocks Bybit and four others for operating sans license. While regulators cite investor protection, my Southeast Asian sources whisper this smells like exchange favoritism. Either way - withdraw now unless you fancy playing VPN roulette.

Final thought: Between Powell jawboning and Asia’s regulatory whack-a-mole, maybe just hodl some BTC and meditate through the noise. Namaste.